Counting for something…

I’ve just got home from a fantastic Ashtanga yoga workshop in Goa with the wonderful John Scott. John spent the entire week teaching us to count. We counted in Sanskrit; we counted breath; we counted movements within sequences of movements; we created a mantra consisting of the Sanskrit count which flowed through our thoughts steadying and focussing the concentration.

Yoga creates that deep level of concentration  and awareness which amongst other things brings the ability to function at your highest level. Practice of yoga is also about developing accountability; behaving as if you count and aligning yourself so as to be centred and open to whatever life throws at you.

When I came to pick up my violin after the ten-day break I was struck by how many parallels there were not only with the Alexander technique, but with my study towards greater potential within my own playing. Ten days of practising the correct alignment of my body made it glaringly obvious how easily I was tipping off-balance when I played. It’s not always easy to maintain good posture, particularly whilst  sight reading with jet-lag, but it’s even easier not to notice the physical tensions whilst your concentration is elsewhere. It’s one thing to know where the tension is occurring and quite another thing to feel it. I found that in becoming aware of how my body was functioning, the mechanics of reading and playing became simpler and imbued with a basic acceptance which made a day’s work much more enjoyable. I was able to get beyond the monkey chatter and listen to what was really important.

This is the reason for the counting in yoga practice. By creating the ‘mantra’ of counting, the mind becomes clear of distractions and focusses entirely on the sequence of breath and movement. If it is possible to achieve this in yoga practice then why not in violin practice? By quieting the negative self-talk which often clutters the mind, not only would practice become more effective, the communication between mind and body would increase, creating more freedom of movement and with it greater creative confidence. The acceptance and calming of the internal chatter also has huge implications for stage fright. Acknowledging nervous thoughts as merely products of the chattering brain discredits them and allows a greater feeling of security, self-control and accountability.

By focussing on the counting during yoga practice, just as by focussing on a mantra in meditation, what happens is not that the other thoughts disappear, but that you begin to realise the nature of many of those thoughts. Rather than becoming overwhelmed by the emotions which the thoughts might trigger, it is possible to merely acknowledge them and move on, giving them no importance. It quickly becomes obvious how mundane, illogical and plain ridiculous the majority of the mind’s chatter is, for example when you have practiced diligently for a performance only to be crippled by nerves.

My differing awareness of my thoughts has given me a new perspective on my own tendency for performance anxiety. For me it is a way of denying accountability. If everything goes wrong when I play it’s not because I’m not good enough or haven’t practiced properly, it’s because I get such terrible nerves. It strikes me now that this is hilariously self-defeating in light of the number of hours practice I have put in over the years.

So for me, practice now comes in two forms. First there’s the yoga practice of meditation and asanas, then the violin practice. I think every lesson learned in yoga can be applied as much to musicianship as to life. Developing a belief that I count forces me to take responsibility for myself. This means committing to my practice so I am able to offer the best contribution. It also means accepting that I am not perfect. But then I wasn’t counting on that…

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